I was talking with my kids mother yesterday about how, as parents, we usually end up killing a lot of dreams. My kids tend to dream big…like how many animals they are going to house at my country property (which I don’t have…or have any hope of getting at this point in time), what kind of VR set up we’re going to get (this is from my youngest) and what model of Tesla I am going to buy when I need a new car…We have YouTube to thank for a lot of these dreams. Unrealistic precedents being set by ‘influencers’ geared to kids, but also a lot of it comes from the boys just having incredibly creative and imaginative brains. My middle son could watch a show about an undercover agent and decide that he wants to be a spy and drive a tricked out Tesla that actually turns into a hover car (this was an actual conversation). He knows that a lot of what he dreams isn’t real but he phrases it in such a way that you’d think he did ‘WHEN this happens’, ‘When I’m an adult I’m going to have…’. It’s really cute and we (the boys mother and I) definitely encourage imagination. To a point. Unfortunately, we do have to bring reality in occasionally, and my oldest is a superstar at this, ‘How are you going to look after all of those animals when you are only at Dad’s half of the week?’ or ‘You know that you’d need to have about five jobs to be able to afford all of that, right?’. He kills me. Mom and I are a little more gentle but that’s the gist of what we have to say as well.
I’ve been a little more lenient with some dreams though. These ones are a little more important. Not just for my kids but for all of us. It’s the Post-Pandemic dreams that are keeping a lot of hope alive for my kids. And for me, to be honest. None of us knows what is going to happen in the next few months or even years with Covid-19. Sure there are vaccines, but now we’re dealing with variants (and I don’t mean comic book covers), there’s the uncertainty for many of our financial futures…so much that we just don’t know. One thing we DO know is that we all have plans and dreams, even if they are small, about what we want to do when this is all over. My kids talk a lot about being able to see their friends again. Not just at school, in class, but being able to get outside, run and play. My oldest is planning an epic DnD night with all of his friends when they can all be in the same room again, my youngest can’t wait to have a birthday party with all of his mom’s friends, my friends, his brother’s friends, and even some of his! I think this is REALLY important, regardless of how unrealistic they might be. Or how uncertain the future is right now.
I have dreams too. I’m looking forward to reconnecting with a lot of friends (I am TERRIBLE with online communication and phone calls), I’m looking forward to hugging pretty much every person I see and to having a huge dinner party. Okay, the last one is probably the most unrealistic, my place is small and I don’t cook very well but…there are ways around that! The reality for me, and for my kids, is that these dreams actually power us through some days. I find that allowing myself a few minutes of dreaming about a post-pandemic party with friends and family helps to calm down the stress and worries. When my oldest gets stressed now, we have started doing Post-Pandemic dreaming exercises – imagining what we would like to do when this is all over.
The future is uncertain, it always is. None of us can accurately predict what will happen to us, our family, friends or the world in general over the next little while. The only thing that is certain is that if we let all of the doom and gloom get to us, it’s going to make us feel utterly depressed and hopeless. I think it’s okay to temper our dreams, as well as our kids, with some reality but I also think that right now, dreaming is an incredibly important part of our survival. So, if I could make a recommendation: take some time today and allow yourself to dream about what you’ll do after the pandemic. The trips you’ll take, the food you’ll eat, the friends you’ll hug. Take your kids outside, sit on a rock somewhere, stare off into the sky and do some dreaming. I think you’ll be amazed at how good you feel afterwards!
