Hey! Got a minute?
You know, that’s something that I hear all the time, whether it’s from a co-worker, a friend or even from my own lips. In fact, I’ve heard it a LOT lately and I don’t think I’m unique in this. A couple of years ago, if someone had said this to me, I would have assumed that I had messed something up at work, or someone needed to help me work out a problem. Lately, I’m finding that it is more the latter (not that there aren’t any mistakes being made at work!) and that people are reaching out more than ever to talk. Not for me to help solve any problems, but just to have someone listen. I’ve been finding myself doing the same thing and it’s been really therapeutic. We’re all social creatures by nature, we crave connection, for our mental (and physical) well being, we NEED connection with others. I know, I know, some of you will debate me on this but those of you who ‘hate’ people, also go in search of others with a like mind to vent to. It’s incredibly unusual for someone to not have or crave connection.
My father passed away last year at the beginning of the Covid-19 outbreak and I hadn’t spoken to him in almost two years. He had retired and cancelled his phone and internet, and was even worse than I am about sending and replying to letters. My brother would go home to see him occasionally and by all reports, my dad seemed to be doing fine(ish). When he cut off communication with us, we assumed he was happy being alone and not talking to anyone since he didn’t talk much as it was. We found out after he was gone that he had actually been going out walking every day, talking to all of the people in his building and had even built himself a regular route where he could be sure to run into some dogs to pet and some owners to talk to. Even though he wasn’t connecting with his family, he was still craving connection from someone.
Right now we’re all hurting. We’ve lost someone or know someone who is or has been sick. Lockdowns have us wondering if we’re coming or going some days and more often than not leaving a lot of us feeling lonely. Even those of us with a lot of family around or still going to work every day aren’t getting the same connection that we are used to. I’m sorry Zoom, FB Messenger, etc. but seeing someone on a computer screen or phone just isn’t the same. It’s better than nothing, but it’s not the same. Being in the same room with someone, having that physical presence is so much more comforting, even if it’s not someone that you feel particularly close with. However…
We obviously can’t be sitting in the same rooms with people, or hugging (seriously, I might miss that the most right now) or sharing a meal in person. With the amount of cases of Covid-19 happening in our area right now it’s just not safe and that’s really hard. It’s heartbreaking. So, if you find yourself on the other end of someone saying, ‘Hey, Got a minute?’ remember that we’re all human and looking for a little connection right now and maybe give them an ear. Perhaps they’ll give you an ear back and you’d be amazed how much that small connection might lift your mood and alleviate some stress and worry.
There are exceptions to every suggestion of course, if I ask you if you’ve got a minute, I’m probably going to take 20 of them so you may want to just run the other way! It’s okay, I understand. I won’t take it personally!
If you need someone to talk to, if worry and anxiety is starting to really get you down, please ask for help! There are so many places to reach out to here in town and even though it’s not that in person connection that we all really need, it’s better than suffering alone. I’ve reached out to many of these places myself and I know that they are ALWAYS willing to help.
Canadian Mental Health Association – Crisis Response – 807-346-8282
Thunder Bay Counselling: 807-684-1880
Kelly Mental Health Services: 807-767-3888
Injury Prevention & Substance Misuse Program: 807-625-5900
Additional resources can be found here.
